10 Song Music Meme
by CaseyRachel88
Summary: I'm jumping on the bandwagon and doing the 10 Songs Music Meme. #1-5 Hotch-centric; 6-10 is Reid-centric.  Slash, Hotch/Reid.  It looked like fun, so I gave it a shot!


Title: 10 Song Music Meme

Rating: K+

Summary: I'm jumping on the bandwagon and doing the 10 Songs Music Meme. #1-5 Hotch-centric; 6-10 is Reid-centric. Slash, Hotch/Reid. It looked like fun, so I gave it a shot!

_The rules:_

_1. Pick a character, fandom, pairing, friendship, whatever.  
2. Put on your music program on shuffle/random and start playing songs.  
3. For each song, write something inspired by the song related to the theme you chose earlier. You only have the song length. No pre-planning and no writing after the song is over. No skipping songs either.  
4. Do 10 songs and post. Make sure to include the song name/artist._

Disclaimer: I own nothing and no one from "Criminal Minds," or the music. No one is that insane. :D

A/N: I don't really know if I "cheated," but I went back and did grammatical restructuring for numbers 9 and 10. I tried this challenge after working 9 hours as an English/American Sign Language interpreter. My brain was fried, and by # 9, my writing had shifted from English to ASL grammar. Oops! Moral of the story: don't try this when your brain has been thinking in a foreign language all day. :D Feedback is welcome!

* * *

**1. Hello Alone by Anberlin**

Aaron looked around, dark highway and endless coast before him.

They hadn't caught the UnSub in time. He'd killed his last victim – a seventeen year old girl – before committing suicide by cop. Aaron had foreseen it, and then seen it all go down.

Giving a death notification to a mother never became easier.

He stopped walking for a moment, breathing in the air that was heavy with ocean scents and self-condemnation. Helplessness was not something he was comfortable with or used to – but that's how he'd felt today. Well, today and every day lately. Everything was just out of control and left him feeling helpless.

"Hotch?" It was Spencer's voice.

"Here," he replied, his voice slightly gruff.

"It wasn't your fault."

"I know."

"You couldn't have stopped him."

"That's not absolution."

"You have nothing to be absolved of." Spencer's dismay at Aaron's guilt was clear, although not stated. "You did what you had to, Aaron. Come inside with me?"

Aaron sighed – but followed.

**2. Better Days – The Goo Goo Dolls**

Aaron wrote his wish and approached the fire place.

It would be midnight soon – and in New Year's Eve tradition, each Hotchner member of the family would write down a wish, and as the clock struck – as the New Year was beginning – the wishes would be thrown into the fire.

The fire was supposed to take the wish and make it come true for the next year.

Aaron thought back on his year – there was a lot to wish for. Only one wish would encompass everything.

Five words: "I wish for better days."

**3. One Day You Will – Lady Antebellum **

Aaron felt Rossi pat his shoulder before sitting down at the bar.

The elder profiler had just returned to the BAU, and the first thing he'd done was pick up on Hotch's crumbling marriage.

"I should have expected it."

"Aaron, it wasn't your fault. Haley's either. It just happened." Dave rolled his eyes. "You shouldn't beat yourself up - you're still a masochist, I see."

Aaron nodded. He knew that. He also knew the divorce rate in the FBI. "Dave, how did you make it through this three times? I miss being married already."

Dave nodded. "It'll get a bit better every day, until it stops hurting. Then you'll meet someone else, you'll fall in love again… I know that's not what you want to hear right now, but everything will be okay in the end, Aaron."

Aaron met his friend's eye. "Promise?"

Dave laughed. "Yes, I promise. Now buy me a beer, and tell me what's going on at the BAU. And tell me why those damn kids were trying to profile my office based on the primer color," the man grumbled.

Aaron snorted into his beer, not having heard about that little story but not doubting its truthfulness. Calling the bartender over, Aaron ordered Dave's drink and began explaining the team of profilers…

**4. Brave – Nichole Nordeman **

Aaron stared at Spencer, his eyes sparkling in the starlight. Aaron knew that if he did this, went through with it, it would change everything.

But it was time. They'd been together for a while, and it had been a long time coming before that. Hotch – never known for being timid – was still a little afraid. But he drew Spencer out of from his rambling lecture on constellations and legends nevertheless, refocusing his attention until they were making eye contact.

Aaron opened his mouth. The words stuck inside him, unlike how they had when he'd said it to Haley. But Aaron had been hurt, and healed, since then. His heart was ready, even if his mind wasn't quite there. Spencer was worth his heart possibly taking another beating.

"I've wanted to just tell you – Spencer, I love you."

**5. Take Care (Acoustic Version) – A Change of Pace**

Aaron had forgotten how much it hurt. How the hell had he forgotten what it felt like to have a broken heart?

He put down his cell phone, away from his direct reach. The phone lit up again and again with Spencer's number, the young man calling him back, demanding an explanation. Aaron just let it go to voicemail.

He couldn't do it. Not with the Reaper lurking, waiting to strike where it would hurt most.

It was being unfair to Spencer, but he was unable to think of any other way that would keep the younger man safe. The phone call had been straight to the point: "Reid, we're over. I can't do it anymore." It had been a mean way to end their relationship, but if Aaron actually had to lie to Spencer in person – to say he didn't love the younger man anymore, say didn't want to be with him anymore… Aaron wouldn't have been able to.

Aaron let his phone go to voicemail again, sobs shaking his frame. Somehow his heart was still beating, despite its brokenness.

His heart was shattered, and Aaron could find no one to blame but himself.

**6. Say Anything – Good Charlotte**

Spencer stared at Aaron, wondering what the hell was going through the other man's head.

After a brief phone call saying that he just couldn't "do it anymore" a few weeks back, Spencer had found himself frantically calling Aaron back, willing that the other man hadn't actually called him and broken off their relationship. Hoping that he'd misunderstood.

Spencer hadn't misunderstood. Aaron had broken up with him, and even if he wouldn't admit it, Spencer knew it was because of the Foyet case.

That night, Spencer had resolved to wait for Aaron to come to his senses. If it took a week, if it took a year, if it took ten, Spencer would wait until the idiot he loved sorted it out and got his fucking head on straight again.

In the mean time, Spencer would wait, wishing Aaron would say anything, and show that he wasn't hoping in vain.

**7. Juice Box, Paper Hats and a Line of Pixie Sticks… – PlayRadioPlay **

Spencer folded the hat carefully, and then placed it onto of Jack's head. He was babysitting, thanks to Jessica getting a stomach virus and Hotch being called to an unexpected meeting of all Unit Chiefs for the various BAU teams.

Reid had been skeptical at first – he hadn't babysat for more than fifteen minutes, and that had always been for a sleeping Henry. But he was nothing if not a fast learner, and after a disastrous first half-hour, he got the hang of it.

They had colored, had a snack that was nothing more than flavored sugar, and now they were creating hats from newspaper.

Spencer wondered what his lover would say when he walked into his kitchen to find the juice boxes, paper hats and a line of pixie sticks covering the table…

**8. Naïve – Chris Rice**

Spencer stared as the police officers lead the angry young man away in handcuffs, a dead body lying a few feet away.

The team had only been a few minutes down the road when they'd realized their witness fit the profile. Garcia's digging had managed to find the last details and they'd rushed over. They'd been too late. Only by a minute, but too late nonetheless.

Spencer had seriously concerns about humanity.

How could anyone – ANYONE – do what these killers did? The evil… it just never ended.

Spencer wondered if he was naive to wish that the bitterness that caused so many people to hurt others would simply fade away one day…

**9. Dancing in the Minefields – Andrew Peterson **

Spencer looked at down Aaron's hand, smiling softly at the golden band he found on his mate's finger. Somehow, he had never expected to end up like this: sworn together for eternity.

Their journey to get there hadn't been easy, of course. UnSubs had taken shots at them, the job had nearly pulled them apart, they'd fought and argued and were nowhere near the idealized storybook romance… But it worked for them.

Throughout the whole time, Aaron had been there. Their relationship had been harder than either had imagined – but they'd pulled through, just like they always would.

Spencer looked down at his own matching golden band and smiled.

**10. Swing Life Away – Rise Against**

_They held hands, seated on the porch swing. Aaron's hair was gray, but for the most part he looked the same as he did years ago during his run as the Unit Chief for BAU. Spencer's own hair had twinges of gray as well, and an easy smile graced his face as the two sat back and just enjoyed the present moment. _

_Time had been good to the lovers. _

_After leaving the BAU – Aaron first, Spencer a following a few years later – the two had mostly retired, spending summers in Virginia and winters in Florida with Jack and his family. _

_The pair still did consultations for the FBI on occasion, and Spencer was a regular guest lecturer for the Academy on profiling personality disorders… but for the most part the two men had settled. _

_It was a good pace – a nice pace… a pace that allowed them to actually wake up in bed together without being called away by Aaron's cell phone beeping…beeping… _

_BEEP!_

Spencer woke up, yanked from his dream rather unwillingly.

Oh. Aaron's cell was ringing. Sitting up and rubbing the sleep from his eyes, Spencer watched as his lover listed tensely before jerking his head towards his younger lover: their signal for "there's a case/get up/we gotta go."

Spencer did just that. He enjoyed life right now, and didn't have any desire to leave the BAU any time soon – but if that dream was a glimpse of their possible future… maybe life post-BAU wouldn't be so bad.


End file.
